My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
