I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
