I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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