I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
