Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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