Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
