yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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