"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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