Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
