new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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