And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
