8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
