I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
