I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
