Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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