ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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