I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
