she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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