I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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