I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
