It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
