Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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