Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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