If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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