so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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