I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
