You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cannot find my penis.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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