Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
