so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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