No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
3 2 1 whiskey
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
