sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
