I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
