I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
