Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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