I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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