yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
