return my video game
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
