i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
