i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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