drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
