She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize