Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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