the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize