Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
