Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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