Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
