can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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