I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
