I want to make a zoo with you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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