I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
