weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
