i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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