see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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