no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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