There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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