you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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