I seem to have left my pride at pride
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
