i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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